Mom

So, I had an argument with my mother today. Why always they blame me for something like if I am not etting married? For instance, If I tell her I'm so done with this sucking corporate routine, she'll advice me to do a govt job, then if I'l refuse she'll tell me I don't listen to her and am so adamant and this is the reason, I'm not getting a good guy.

Another instance: If I tell her, ok mom, I've to get marriedto this person, she'll tell me this person is nt good for me and again blame me for my choice. I know she's right perspective from a parent's view. but then I've my own individuality and prefeences. I don't know. Either i'm impatient or she doesn't understand me.

Today

I had been a bit busy past few days, or you can say that I was not feeling like writing anythin. But, today I'm here to take it out. Last year had been verdifficult. I lost one of my very good friends, faced a break up and then, lost a job. But above all, there was some positive thing as well. I found a new best friend S. S had been a phone friend. I've met him just once, but last year we became very close after I broke off with my ex. S and I used to share our secrets, our joys, our weaknesses and much more. In short, we became kind of soulmates. Nowadys, he's away and we hardly communicate, but I miss him a lot.

Another, new person came into my life, my perspective boyfriend. After an on-off relationship, I've come to the conclusion that we both have different dreams. He wants and open relationship with no commiments while I'm looking for a long term (you can say respectable in terms of Indian sociaty), or the word M. We discuss things, like he says I should enjoy my life, hang out with boys till I find my husband. But for me it's like, I can't take chances this time. I can't be in a relationship while I'm looking for a husband. It's like being at 2 places at the same time. How can I be in a relationship with him on one hand and help my parents in searching an ideal groom for myself on the other hand? I know, it's very tough to be single and alone at times especially, when I don't have any job and nothing much to do. But, after my bad experieces, this time, I won't let anyone decide what I need to do. I'll better stay single rather than being used by someone. Anyways, my pespective BF in not that bad too. He's very supportive though. Never crosses his limits and listens to me every time. So, I kinda adore him for that. But I'm not sure for the love and marriage thing. So, I'm trying and maintaing distance.

I waited for his call whole day, but didn't call him as I don't want to love anyone this time as am afraid I'll lose him forever.

Secret.. Shhhhhh...

I have always been a loud mouth female. Be it my studies, boyfriends or social life, I always use to share the details with my pals. And then , came all the suggestion and discussions and arguments that used to leave me confused and irritate. Now, I've discovered the power of keeping secrets. For instance, I haven't asked anyone that whether I should go and see this guy or not and I'm enjoying it in my own way. We two discuss stuff and share thought, with being answerable to anyone. I don't know, whether my intuition is right or wrong, but ya, I love talking to him and feel that he also loves me. He listens to me and cares for me (Best part). As the life is unexpected, I'm taking this chance, I don't know whether it will work out or not, But I'm enjoying this phase. Specially, after separating from my best friend, this new boyfriend of mine is the only left happiness in my life. We don't expect anything and try to give our best to each other and care for each other. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Wish this relationship become stronger with time.

The Plan

So, my perspective BF is planning to come here to meet me.. After a period of 4 months, we've finally decided to meet each other. We haven't seen each other yet, but we are excited. As per my peers, it's not good for me to meet him, but as my heart says: I'll meet him and will find out what he actually wants? It may disappoint me, but this time am not scared to lose anything. Neither he's my friend nor a best friend or a relative. Then, why should I be scared? I am not sure, will it be a mistake or open doors of love, but one thing i'm sure of is I am not going to discuss this with anyone this time. This time, I'll follow my heart and let's see what comes out. So, I'm ready to take the plunge in the ocean of Love. Hope, all falls in right place. Amen!

 

 

Hi All !

Hi All!

This is my Space.. and I'll be writing my heart out here. I invite you all to share your views and comments if you relate to my ideas.

Thanks,
Angie